10 Fears That Only Writers Have

As a writer, I’ve picked up on several absurd fears that I have relating to my work. Maybe more people than just writers have them, but I think they’re especially common in this line of work. How many of these can you relate to?

 

Watching Clown
Ha ha… wait, that’s not funny. That’s not even cute. That’s terrifying.

 

1. Fear of humor. When I was a kid, I remember writing jokes into my stories and thinking I was so clever. But then I realized that they always seemed to look stupid in retrospect. Now it seems impossible to tell if I’m being funny or just sickeningly cute.

 

And then suddenly he said…

 

2. Fear of “said.” Or “then.” Or “very.” These words are often over-used, but they do have their place. It’s just a question of when to use them.

 

They are coming for you.

 

3. Fear of characters. They know what you’re up to, and sometimes they want nothing better than to spoil your plans as a writer. They will hijack your precious novel, and they will triumph in the end.

 

Something tells me this wasn’t written by a real writer…

 

4. Fear of readers. Will anyone like what you write? Will they be able to tell that you’re not really a great author but only a normal person who likes to write? Will they see through your disguise and judge you?

 

Is the moon over the trees or behind the trees? Is that important?

5. Fear of riddles. Riddles and mysteries are hard to write. You know the answer, but you don’t know how simple or hard the riddle is for others to solve. How Brian Jacques managed so many in the Redwall series I’ll never know.

 

So, we hear you’re still writing?

6. Fear of friends and family. The dreaded questions, the frantic scrambling for answers. The looks they give you when you don’t make sense. It’s a situation that’s much more common than it should be.

 

And… reject.

7. Fear of book publishers. They aren’t out there to discover your book. They’re out there to reject it, criticize it and tell you that you’re a rotten writer with no future and no talent. Period.

 

There go the candles…

8. Fear of new ideas. They change everything. They ruin your plans. They make it so that your story doesn’t go the way you originally wanted it to go.

 

“So, technically speaking, Barring’s offer should have been rejected in Chapter 3…”

9. Fear of logic. Logic is not the writer’s friend. Logic points out all of your flaws and explains why your story could never really happen and why it really doesn’t make any sense, no matter how awesome it is.

 

It is all mine now. All mine…

10. Fear of losing your computer (and not because of the Internet). Everyone would panic at the sudden loss of a computer, but for many people, a computer is nothing but a portal to Facebook and Youtube. For you, a laptop is a portal to universes that you alone understand and control. Those worlds without you would cease to exist. The characters would die without ever knowing what happens to them, and time would stand still indefinitely!

 

What fears do you have as a writer? How do you face them? Please share in the comments below; I’d love to hear all about it!

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